The Art of Being Alone

"Solitude is not the absence of company, but the moment when our soul is free to speak to us." – Paulo Coelho

There was a time when I used to find immense joy in being alone. Solitude was not a state of loneliness for me but a cherished space where I could thrive. I loved travelling solo, discovering new places at my own pace. Coffee shops were my sanctuaries, where I would lose myself in a book, and I found pleasure in watching movies and dining out alone. These activities were not merely pastimes; they were essential rituals that made me feel content and whole.

For years, I believed in the profound art of being alone. Loneliness was an unfamiliar concept, something I couldn’t quite relate to. Loneliness occurs when you cannot find yourself within. The moment you feel the loss of your true self, that's when loneliness makes a home inside you. It is not the absence of others, but the absence of your own essence that creates this void. To me, being alone was synonymous with independence and inner strength. I danced to my own rhythm, and life was a melody I enjoyed solo. 

However, life’s unpredictable nature caught up with me last year. An unexpected incident disrupted my equilibrium, and my once comforting solitude turned into a prison. The walls of my self-made sanctuary started to close in, and loneliness seeped through the cracks. It was as if my reliable solitude had transformed into a shadowy figure, haunting and unrelenting. 

During this challenging period, I came across a book titled "The Art of Being Alone" by Renuka Gavrani , lying on my bookshelf. The title immediately resonated with me, reflecting the life I once lived with ease. As I delved into its pages, I felt a deep connection with the author's words. It was as if they were speaking directly to my heart, articulating emotions I struggled to express. The book explored more than just solitude; it delved into embracing it, understanding its complexities, and finding beauty in the quiet moments.

Reading "The Art of Being Alone" was a transformative experience. It helped me realise that loneliness is not a void to be filled but a space to be explored. The book encouraged me to face my fears and to sit with my discomfort, turning it into an opportunity for personal growth. I began to reclaim my love for solo travel, each journey becoming a path to healing. Coffee shops once again became my sanctuaries, with their familiar scents and sounds providing comfort. I started going to the cinema and dining out alone, not to escape but to celebrate my own company.

Though, what I realised over time is that, It’s not pathetic to be alone. I realised that we don’t hate being alone. We hate to believe that we are left behind.

I realised that I am a pretty good person. I like being with myself. And I always did. I always loved spending time in my room, reading my books, and wandering to a distinct place that only I am aware of. That always felt luxurious to me.

My all time guide is “If you compromise with your principles once, it will become your habit to cheat your principles and do what’s cool.”

This journey of rediscovery was profound. I understood that the art of being alone is not a static concept but one that evolves with us. It is about finding balance and recognising that solitude and loneliness are two sides of the same coin. Life’s ebbs and flows are inevitable, and embracing each phase with grace is essential.

In the end, the incident that initially felt like a prison key turned out to be a gateway to a new kind of freedom. "The Art of Being Alone" didn’t just guide me back to myself; it taught me to appreciate the journey, to see solitude as a canvas for self-expression. It reminded me that being alone is not about being incomplete but about being whole in a unique way.

Now, I continue to dance to my own beat, with a newfound understanding and deeper appreciation for the art of being alone.

My journey has taught me that solitude, when embraced and understood, can be a powerful tool for personal growth and self-discovery.

---

Shi'tare

#TheKatareGirl